Sad

I am sad... I am only about 24 hours into this new reality and I am so sad.  I don't even know how much more pain, hurt, and sadness is around the corner... I won't know until I get there.

I don't know where my life is going to go from here... it's going to be completely different than it's been... and that's so so scary.  I have no clue how things will turn out.  I'm back at square one.

All I know is as of yesterday my whole life changed.  My heart is broken and life as I knew it is crumbling before my very eyes.

I know I will be okay, and this just wasn't the life path for me... but it's sad... so very very sad.  Life as I pictured it will not happen. 

I'm sad about so many things... the things I'm losing... its effect on other people... losing my best friend.

I would have never pictured myself in this situation... never... but here I am.  It's the reality that I'm faced with and I have no other choice than to stand up for myself and deal with it.  Find a way to make myself happy... rely on my amazing friends and family.

One moment everything is fine and the next... well... you don't know what tomorrow holds...

But losing my best friend... that's the worst... the absolute worst...

**I know this post might not make sense to most people right now... but I'll give details when I'm ready... I'm not ready yet and I'm not sure when I will be.