To my Grandma

A couple of weeks ago my Grandma passed away.  As I've said to many people while we knew it was coming it still felt pretty unbelievable.  You see my grandma wasn't really sick, but then she went to the hospital where they found out about a rare hernia that was causing her stomach to go into her esophagus.  It required surgery to correct.  They did surgery and that went ok... it would just be a matter if her body could fight back.  The week before she passed it seemed like she was getting better, eating a little, craving some foods, and talking with us.  But then we learned she would not get better, that her oxygen was low and fluid was leaking into her abdomen.  A couple of days later she was gone.


Those last few weeks I visited her a lot.  So did Simon.  She loved seeing Simon usually repeating, he's just so darn cute or he's just the happiest kid.  Simon never got too shy around Grandma either.  He'd go and hold her hand or show her things.  When we'd visit her room in St. Agnes he would know where all his toys were, where the Pringles were and also loved getting the Pandy statue out and carrying it around.  Simon and I visited with her on Saturday, she passed away on Sunday.  Luckily we caught her while she was awake a bit so she got to talk to me and more importantly see Simon.


After I had Simon Grandma would talk about how she had taken care of me when I was that little.  Before I was born Grandma suffered from an aneurysm.  This ended up causing her left side of her body to be paralyzed.  They weren't sure if she'd walk again or return to a 'normal' life.  She trudged through rehab and therapy.  When I was born she really wanted to take care of me after my mom went back to work.  They weren't really sure that she'd be able to take care of small baby.  My mom gave her a week trial.  Surprisingly it worked.  She was able to take care of me even with only one good arm.  She would tell that story a lot after Simon was born.  Let me tell you how eye opening that really was.  I was taking care of Simon as an abled bodied person.  I told Grandma once that she only had one arm and sometimes when I was caring for Simon I wished I had a third arm.  That made her smile.


But it really is amazing what she did with that one good arm.  She took care of me and went onto care for my brother and sister and cousins - Billy, Brett and Karly.  Usually with more than one kid in her care!  She'd make us food, get us snacks, play with us, bake with us, we'd go outside, etc.  I really am so blessed that I was able to spend my childhood around her (and my grandpa and uncle Steve.)


She was able to cook and clean and even rearrange furniture in the house, all by herself.  That's pretty incredible when you think about it.  She just figured out how to do life fully with only one good arm and one good leg.


It's been so great to share memories and look through pictures together.  I guess what I'm realized is how much my childhood and being around family has reinforced my strong family connection in adulthood.  Although I always remember thinking I'd rather more often than not spend Saturday at home playing board games with my family then something else.  I think Grandma and just being around family all the time really made that important.


We went on a lot of trips with Grandma - short ones near St. Louis or long ones to each of the coasts.  I got to be with her when she first saw the ocean and put her feet in it.  I remember how the wheelchair got stuck in the sand with the tide coming in.  Big experiences and small, they all share a special place in my heart.


When my grandpa passed away almost 16 years ago she was devastated.  But she kept on keeping on.  Even through losing her memory and general ability to care for herself she always maintained a positive attitude.  She might ask you the same questions over and over again or replay the same memories but she was always nice and sweet and happy.  Never grumpy or crotchety.  It was sad to see her lose her sharpness but really in the end she was happy and loving.


Losing our grandma is tough and sad... like losing a pillar of the family but I really truly believe she made us all better people.  I'm going to miss her but I'm so glad she got to see me become a mother because she knew how important that was to me and she loved that kid.


Now we all just have another guardian angel in heaven along with my Grandpa, Uncle Steve, Grandma Watson, and Dan's Mom, Charlotte.  We may miss them down here something fierce, but they are always with us in our hearts and memories.