15 Weeks

Originally written: April 27, 2015 (all caught up!)

How far along:  15 weeks; size of an apple or an orange

How I'm feeling:  I'm good! I just go to bed pretty early most nights, but honestly that was me before getting pregnant too... so... Also, I'd say this is the first week bump-wise that I'm feeling pregnant.  My stomach is hard when I'm standing... while I can still suck in I don't really have the energy to suck in all the time...

Worries/Fears:  I haven't been worrying about too much although there's so many decisions that need to be made... and I know I need to start thinking about some of them... like daycare... eeks.

Miss anything: Things have been mostly good, I keep mentioning the eating thing, which is true.  It's probably my biggest complaint about pregnancy.  Instead of just feeling hungry I get a stomach ache that doesn't really make me want to go out and eat, but I know that's exactly what I need to do to help it stop.  Like body, why not just be like your hungry instead just weird pain where it feels like eating is the last thing I want to do... mixed signals yo.

Movement:  Nothing yet... maybe soon?

Food cravings:  Nothing really

Food aversions: Nothing specifically... sometimes things sound good, other times they don't

Other symptoms:  I started noticing my gums bleeding when I brush my teeth... but that's about it

Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  I finally made an order for some maternity clothes including a BellaBand.  I also bought basic layering tanks b/c I like to wear that kind of stuff under my other shirts.  By the end of last week my jeans were feeling really tight when I buttoned them... I know the time is approaching real soon where I'm going to want that BellaBand... and probably maternity clothes.  My plan was to try to pack away some of my closet this weekend with stuff I'm not going to be able to wear, but it didn't happen... sometime this week or next weekend that will for sure be happening.

What I'm looking forward to:  Getting some things done around the house to begin working on the nursery.

Best moment of this week:  Well this has become more of a recap of the week, but still, it's highlights of the week.  First off, last Monday I told my team at work I was pregnant and they were all so excited and supportive.  While I didn't think they would act any other way, it's always nice to have the reassurance.  After telling my work team, I posted the news on Facebook so we went all public!  It's nice to have out there and the showing of support and excitement from others is really nice!

Social Media Announcement

On Thursday night I hung out with my mom and sister while we helped Lindsey with her resume and other things.  It was a very long night, but I always enjoy spending time with family.

Friday night after work was really low key and I enjoyed just sitting at home in my comfy pants watching TV.

Saturday, I had brunch with my dad and Janet at Benton Park Café.  Then it was a pretty dreary day out and I took a nap and it was amazing.  That night I met up with Susan for dinner and a painting class.  It was a really nice day!

Sunday I finally did the things I wanted to do in the basement... no, not everything... the spare room down there needs cleaned out/up in a major way, but I cleaned out the cat closet and did a deep vacuum including using Arm and Hammer Pet Odor Eliminator on the carpet.  I think it helped, or at least I was feeling overwhelmed by the fresh scent.  I also cleaned up the house and dusted.  That afternoon Dan moved the TV outside so we watched the Blues lose on the deck.  Amanda and Lou and Ben came over.  It was really nice... a bit chilly but I bundled up including a blanket.  Overall it was a really nice week and weekend!

Bump picture:

I need to get a better mirror

14 Weeks

Originally written: April 20, 2015


How far along:  14 weeks; size of a lemon or my fist




New one for today, I wanted to give an update on my last doctor's appointment.  It was last Tuesday (April 14th).  It went well.  My doctor went over a lot of my test results from the first visit (all that blood!) and everything looks good although I guess my white blood cell count was high, although she said in pregnancy that's normal b/c my body has that foreign thing growing inside it.  I also found out my blood type - O+.  One thing I have not been doing or paying much attention to is my weight... why? I don't know but really I'm not.  I don't know how much I weighed before I got pregnant and I couldn't tell you how much I weighed at my last appointment even though I watched her take my weight.  My doctor said I have gained a pound, but that doesn't seem to bad to me.  After going over the tests and my random but not that exciting questions she checked for the heart beat.  It took her a couple of minutes to find it, but once she did it was going :)  this time it measured around 150 bpm (up from the first appointment at 140ish)  She also heard a kick on the Doppler how cool is that?  I thought I was going to have to give more blood (if you know me you know I hate needles) but luckily the test they have to redo (b/c they used the wrong vial last time) I put off until my next appointment since I may get a genic test done at that appointment and if so it would be only one needle poke instead of two (this appt and next).  Plus of course I'm going to put it off - Future Jenn's problem!  I got my next two appointments scheduled for May 15th and then June 12th for the big ultrasound!










How I'm feeling:  I'm feeling pretty good.  I still feel more tired than normal and maybe getting some headaches... but I'm not convinced the headaches are pregnancy related so much as they are spring pollen allergy related.










Worries/Fears:  Really I haven't been too worried about stuff... I mean sure when I think of all those decisions I could get panicky but I have that under control... one step at a time!








Miss anything: Probably still the eating thing... maybe a bit of the drinking thing... but more so eating how I want to eat when I want to eat... and instead of that normal hunger pains it's just an annoying stomach ache that's I know means I need to eat but doesn't really feel like I want to eat if that makes any sense.








Movement:  For a split second while waiting in the doctor's office I thought I felt something... probably gas, but that's what I heard it can feel like, but it was gone pretty fast after that and hasn't happened since so I doubt it was really anything considering that would be like really early and all.








Food cravings:  I've also felt like the cravings would hit like I need this now... and so far nothing has been need it now.






Food aversions: Super sweet things haven't been sounding the greatest and sometimes just heavy food like meat... so about the same








Other symptoms:  I thought I'd talk about sleep down here which is good, I'm still sleeping on my stomach at points every night.  Only makes my boobs sore and I figure the time is going to come where I'm not able to sleep on my stomach.  Also I'm up about once a night to pee (usually in the early morning hours)






Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  Nothing yet just feeling pudgy again... where I'm not sure if this is a bump developing or just the fat I had before.






What I'm looking forward to:  Telling my coworkers this week so I can finally have it all out there






Best moment of this week:  The doctor's appointment was pretty nice but talked about that above.


Had a nice weekend.  Friday I cleaned the kitchen pretty well and then when Dan got home we went someplace for apps (Beerhouse at River City).  I watched the Amazing Race and the Cardinals game.




Saturday I went to the grocery store early, made us breakfast.  Then cleaned the bathroom pretty well (side note but for guys is it really hard to aim your pee?).  I made a Butterfinger cake for Dan - which to me is just a Better than Sex Cake with Butterfinger instead of Heath.  Kyle came over and we watched the Blues game, ate snacks and burgers.  After he left I laid around but didn't take a nap.  That night Dan decided to go out to dinner with friends and I stayed in and watched Maleficent. 




Sunday I did my grocery shopping early and met up with my mom.  We went out and visited my Grandma but on the way stopped at Joann to look at paint for the alphabet letters and picked some!  Of course didn't have duplicates of some colors so we stopped at another Joann's later but still are missing one.  Seeing Grandma was nice, we had late breakfast at IHOP and ended up staying there awhile b/c it was pouring rain.  Headed home and that night I watched TV started my laundry and headed to bed early.  Overall a nice weekend!

13 Weeks

Originally written: April 14, 2015


How far along:  13 weeks; size of a peach... that feels significant!








How I'm feeling:  Much better after I got over the plague :)  I still have a lingering cough (it's not terrible just comes every once in awhile) and some gunk in my throat but I feel like a million times better than I did when I was sick.  Also I think I'm slowly getting my energy back.








Worries/Fears:  If I let my mind venture down the holy crap I'm going to have to give birth thing... or all the decisions that will have to be made then well I really could end up in freak out mode... luckily I've perfected the thinking of it's 'future Jenn's' problem pretty well.  I'm a procrastinator through and through... even with my thinking.






Miss anything: Eating like I did beforehand... not so much what I can eat, but normal appetite, not having to think about eating again or eating often... taking the joy out of one of my favorite activities.






Movement:  Nothing yet... this probably won't change for quite awhile yet






Food cravings:  Nothing really... every once in awhile I'll get an idea in my head of something that sounds good, but it hasn't been OMG I need that RIGHT NOW... although I will say cheese fries sounded good one day last week and I got them after work... but only because I was picking up dinner anyway (from that place I would not have normally gotten cheese fries)






Food aversions: Hunks of meat have not sounded good, also sweets have just not been sounding appealing.  Like eating candy sounds gross, sometimes I order a soda or lemonade and it comes tasting way too sweet... things like that.






Other symptoms:  Nothing that I can think of... things have been going pretty good






Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  Nothing yet... mostly just feeling pudgy... and I had a stomach before I got pregnant so that's nothing new... although it's getting harder and harder to suck in






What I'm looking forward to:  I have a doctor's appointment this week and then sometime in the next week I'll tell people at work and then probably go public with the news.  It will feel good not feeling like I'm lying to anyone anymore.






Best moment of this week:  The weekend was pretty fun.  Friday night after work we went and got Dan's birthday present (a Webber Grill) and had dinner out (Hooter's it was subpar in my opinion). 


Saturday was a casual day but ended up grilling and Caleb came over.  It was fun hanging out although I didn't get to drink (I did make myself a fun drink so at least there was that - half juice half sprite).  That night we went up to Quincy Street Bistro for some snacks (they had drinks). 


On Sunday I met up with my mom and we went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel, then to the Queeny Park Art Fair (OMG I wish I were rich!).  We also went by Buy Buy Baby and it was fun (and overwhelming) to look around that store... oh the decisions that will have to be made!  We also went by some other stores and by the end of the day I was pooped!  It was fun though!

12 Weeks

Originally written: April 7, 2015


How far along:  12 weeks; size of a lime or small plum








How I'm feeling:  This has not been the greatest week for me... and a lot of that is because I was the sickest I've been in probably six years (right before I started working at the VA I caught something and I think this was on par with that...)  I felt myself coming down with something on Wednesday and I stayed sick clear through Sunday.  I decided to take Monday off work too (since I only missed one work day on Thursday) and I'm really happy I did.  I'm back at work on Tuesday, but this illness really kicked my butt... fever, sore throat, stuffy nose after a few days... just generally blah.  And since I'm pregnant I didn't feel like I could just take whatever to make myself feel better... Also, I'm just a baby when I'm sick.








Worries/Fears:  I wouldn't say a whole lot which I'm going to call a win...






Miss anything: I missed not being able to take the meds that would knock me out...






Movement:  Nothing yet... this probably won't change for quite awhile yet






Food cravings:  Nothing... meaning I did not crave food this week... eating was a chore that I knew I needed to do just so I could take Tylenol...






Food aversions: Um everything? :) Really I just wasn't in the mood to eat...






Other symptoms:  I threw up for the first time... last Monday I threw up a bit after getting grossed out by something and then I threw up a bunch on Wednesday... but I was getting sick so the Wednesday one could have been related to that.  I'm happy that was the extent of the stomach sick though!






Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  The good thing about being sick was sweats for a week!






What I'm looking forward to:  Feeling better and getting my appetite back... I've also started looking at nursery ideas, so that has me excited.  I'm also looking forward to my next doctor's appointment and then feeling like I can tell work.






Best moment of this week:  This is a tough one due to the death that was me.... so I'll say... Dan bringing me a smoothie... twice.

11 Weeks

Originally written: March 31, 2015


How far along:  11 weeks; size of a fig or lime

How I'm feeling:  Still feeling mostly good, although afternoons/evenings can be rough... I tend to feel sick and just ready to go to bed and recharge for the next day.

Worries/Fears:  Wanting everything to be going good for the baby... although I will admit this fear subsides a little bit every week

Miss anything: I missed not being able to partake in alcohol at my cousin's wedding, but no one seemed to be getting real drunk so maybe it was all for the best.  I also miss just feeling hungry instead of that nauseous feeling where I know that means I'm hungry... or at least should eat.

Movement:  Nothing yet... this probably won't change for quite awhile yet

Food cravings:  Nothing in particular... I think it will be fun to have one... maybe I'll regret saying that

Food aversions: Nothing is standing out, but there are times when I know I don't want something heavy or super dairy-y

Other symptoms:  I'm still kinda constipated... blah... luckily it's not bothering me too much it's mostly I'm like man I should be able to go like that more often...

Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  I don't have to be in maturity clothes, but I did buy a shirt and wear it to my family pictures this past weekend.  I mostly bought that one so I knew I could wear it for awhile longer whereas the other shirt I was considering wouldn't probably last as long.  Also, I'm very lucky and thankful that my friend gave me two big bags of maternity clothes, so at least I'm not starting from scratch in that department.

What I'm looking forward to:  I'm looking forward to Dan's family finding out on Sunday (even though I won't be there to share in it)... I'm also looking forward to this weekend with only minimal plans where I can relax more... maybe get some stuff done around the house.

Best moment of this week: There were a lot of good moments this past week.  I turned 31 on Friday and had a great birthday.  It started out with breakfast on Friday with my mom, sister and brother.  Where we told Keith he was going to be an uncle.  We decided to do it in a fun way, because - why not?  We planned this ruse where I decorated the back of a puzzle.  I then gave the puzzle to my mom where she wrapped it up like it was a birthday gift for me.  So I opened it and acted surprised and we all put the puzzle together.  I made Keith flip it over, and then it fell apart, and we put it back together and it said "Keith, get ready, you're becoming an uncle in October" he was really surprised and it was a lot of fun!

Lindsey wanted a puzzle too - sorry it's turned sideways

Then I met up with Susan and got mani/pedis, when to lunch at CPK and walked around the mall.  It was really nice hanging out even though I didn't buy anything.

That night I met up with Dad, Janet, Connor, and Keith (with Dan) and we had birthday dinner at Pi... it was so yummy... we got dessert also which was gooey butter cake ice cream and apple pie and it was so so good!

Dan even surprised me with actual birthday gifts - a necklace, bracelet and new pair of Toms!  They were wrapped and everything!

Saturday was mostly relaxing and then we went to my cousin's wedding.  We let the news of the baby spread and overall it was a really nice wedding.  We had a good time although I didn't get to eat until like 8pm... ugh!  After the wedding we went to ITAP with Ben, Cherrelle and Connor... which was nice to hang out, even though I wasn't able to drink (cue the sad trombone)

On Sunday we had family pictures with Mom's side... they went really well (even though it was cold and windy) and Kyle (our photographer) helped share the news with the entire family that Dan and I are expecting.  It was a lot of fun.  We had lunch together and around this time I was feeling REALLY worn out from the weekend... I crashed hard in bed... and willed myself to get back up so I didn't sleep from like 4 to the next day... but it ended up being a bit hard to fall back asleep... of course.  Overall it was a really nice, full weekend filled with family!

10 Weeks

Originally posted: March 25, 2015


How far along:  10 weeks




How I'm feeling:  I'm feeling good, I haven't been quite as tired this past week which is nice.




Sleep:  Sleep has been good... although I'm having all sorts of crazy weird dreams, or at least I'm remembering them more when I wake up.  I'm also sometimes having to get up an pee in the middle of the night.




Worries/Fears:  Still not wanting anything bad to happen with the baby.




Miss anything: Not really at this point.




Movement:  Nothing yet




Food cravings:  I finally made it to the candy store on Sunday and bought WAY too much.  I've been snacking on it ever since, although all the sugar may be making me feel a little sick... what's new?




Food aversions: Nothing in particular, but some things just don't sound good at certain points...




Other symptoms:  I'm constipated... there... I said it... also still feeling sick some afternoons




Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  Nothing to report




What I'm looking forward to:  This weekend, it's really full with birthday celebrations, cousin's wedding and family pictures (when I'll tell my mom's extended family about the baby)




Best moment of this week: Going to RuPaul's Drag Race at the Pagaent (my first time there!) with Liz.

Bathroom at work selfie... also the place I found out I was pregnant

9 weeks

Originally written: March 18, 2015


How far along:  9 weeks






How I'm feeling:  Pretty good for the most part, I feel sicker in the evenings, but I've really been trying to eat more frequently and hope that starts to help






Sleep:  Good most nights... I've been having crazy dreams that I tend to remember when I wake up... those have been throwing me for a loop.  Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and my mind will just race (about nothing in particular) and it's hard to fall back asleep.  Also, some nights I have to get up and pee... which is new for me.






Worries/Fears:  At this point it's just making it out of the first trimester without anything terrible happening.






Miss anything: Being able to eat how I want... mostly meaning not snacking or feel like eating controls my schedule... that sort of stuff






Movement:  Nothing yet






Food cravings:  I've really wanted to go to the candy store at the mall, Jelly Bellys were sounding good, but now all that candy you can get at the candy store is sounding amazing!






Food aversions: Nothing in particular, although sometimes I just know eating something it's going to work






Other symptoms:  Other than what I've hit on already feeling pretty darn tired by the end of the work day... once I get home I try to keep myself moving, but I'm ready to lay down in bed most nights by 8.  For the record I am an early bedtime person anyway before getting pregnant I would be in bed by 9 most nights. 






Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  Nothing to report






What I'm looking forward to:  My birthday weekend in a couple of weeks - we're planning on telling the family at that point.  My brother will be in town and I'll get to tell him.






Best moment of this week: Seeing how excited Dan gets when he tells people or talks about the baby.

Other Early Stuff

Originally written: March 18, 2015




I just wanted to write down some thoughts about early in the process...






On March 4th we had an appointment at the doctor... finally.  I was really looking forward to the appointment so I'd really know that there was actually a baby in there... I just couldn't quite fully believe it until I knew for sure.






The appointment was very surreal... we got to see the little blob on an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat... I didn't really know what to say.  I really thought I would cry, but as is most situations for me thinking about it makes me cry while actually experiencing it is more of a surreal experience.  I was happy to see the baby and it seems like Dan was pretty in awe too.  It was a really neat experience.

This picture shows the little baby \.  The baby is the white blob on the left on the black circle.  At the bottom of this picture is the heartbeat.  It was measuring around 142 bpm at this appointment.

Here's a bigger picture.  Again the baby is the white blob with the letters CRL above it.

That night I wanted to tell my mom... I didn't want to wait any longer so I headed over there and gave her a card I got off Etsy.  She was shocked and so so excited.  Lindsey was there too and I think I made her cry.  They've both been so wanting a baby in the family and I think they were just so happy that it was actually happening.  Although I think it's killing my mom a bit not to scream it from the rooftops :).






That weekend I made plans with my dad so I could tell him the news.  I was a little more nervous about telling him because I know my dad and he's Mr. Practical... so I was a little worried he would jump to the practicality of having a baby instead of the joy of it first.  I told him, Janet and Connor while we waited for brunch.  Janet was so excited and gave me the biggest hug right away and then Dad did too... I know his practical mind was swimming (he got to verbalizing it later) but I think he's genuinely excited about the baby too.  Connor was happy that he was one of the first to know instead of one of the last.






We've told more friends as time goes on.  Kind of when we see them sort of thing.  I have it planned out how I'm going to tell the rest of the 'important' people.  Keith and Rachel will both be in town for my birthday weekend/Dave's wedding - so we'll tell them in person then.  I will let the news spread at Dave's wedding... I don't want to take the spotlight away, but it's an easy time with everyone being there at the same time.  The following day we are doing a big family picture on my mom's side and we'll tell everyone then.  That next weekend is Easter and we'll tell Dan's extended family then.  I have my next appointment on April 14th.  After that appointment I'll feel comfortable telling people at work.  Then finally we'll announce it to the world on Facebook sometime after that. 


It's an exciting time, but I'll be happy when it's out there and I don't feel like I'm holding onto some kind of secret.  I hope everything continues to go well with me and baby t-rex... but in roughly a month it should be out there for the world to know :)

Eight Weeks

Originally written: 3/11/2015


I think I'll really appreciate having these to look back on - need to snap a picture (side note did not happen), but in the mean time want to record what I've been feeling:










Also, I just wanted to write out a few things ahead of this.  For one, I turned 8 weeks on Monday, March 9th... so a lot of this reflects the week between 7 and 8.  I will be posting these later so in the timeline of writing things I still want to talk about the doctor appointment and stuff like that, so some of these posts may feel a bit jumbled looking back.










Another thing is while I was calling the baby Poppy to myself, Dan started referring to the baby with what he wants to name it Tyrannosaurus Rex or T-Rex for short.  So he'll ask how's baby T-rex doing and it's adorable.  I think that nickname for baby will stick.










How far along:  8 weeks










How I'm feeling:  Good for the most part!










Sleep:  I'm going to bed early... which to me is really early because I was already in bed by 9 most nights before I knew I was pregnant.  Now I'm typically going to bed before 9.  Of course with the hour change this past weekend that's been pushed back but even my first day back at work and getting up early I was in bed before 8:30... not falling asleep that fast but stretching out and getting ready.










Worries/Fears:  Miscarriage... I just know how real that possibility can be and I just hope little baby keeps growing strong.










Miss anything:  I missed being able to drink a bit this weekend, but really not that much.  I expect I'll feel more strongly about that when the really nice outdoor drinking weather hits.










Movement:  Nothing yet, but I look forward to it










Food cravings:  Last night I really started to think about how amazing some Jelly Bellies would be... to the point I was thinking of a plan to get them ASAP...










Food aversions: Nothing specifically, but there are times when I know something does NOT sound good... thinking mostly heavy meals










Other symptoms:  Just tightness or feeling in my belly... It's nothing that alarming or painful, but feeling stuff you don't normally feel is weird.  I'm also moody a bit.










Maternity clothes, Stretch marks, Belly Button:  Nothing to report here










What I'm looking forward to:  Getting to the point where I'm comfortable that this pregnancy is really happening, I mean yes, it's happening, but I guess that magic 2nd trimester feeling where I'm comfortable telling everyone and the risk of miscarriage goes down.










Best moment of this week:  Telling more people.  I told my mom and sister last Wednesday after the doctor appointment, then we told some friends over the weekend, then I told my Dad, stepmom and stepbrother, and finally some other friends... it's just exciting that everyone is so excited for us.

Early

Originally Written: February 23, 2015


I just wanted to write down some thoughts I've been having in the couple of weeks since I found out I was pregnant.



Let's back up. I knew that I should be expecting to have my period the week of February 9th.  I had told myself that if I didn't see anything by that Friday (the 13th) I would take a pregnancy test.  That whole week I was feeling odd.  I felt some of the symptoms I normally experience before my period starts (some cramping, bloating, etc) but they just didn't feel the same.  Add that to the fact I just didn't have an appetite.  Laying in bed was getting to be slightly painful, especially changing positions as the cramping hurt more when I would flip over (and I flip over a LOT in a night).  I actually used a heating pack a couple of times which isn't normal.



Another thing I noticed that week was my sense of smell was getting crazy.  I was noticing it at work and at home.  This coupled with the weird stomach issues made me start to think that something may be different.



On Thursday after work I wanted to pick up some fancy bread for dinner, but I also decided to buy a pregnancy test.  I always heard that testing first thing in the morning was the smart idea, so I bought it with the intentions of testing Friday morning when I woke up... it was tough, I almost just did it that night but I waited until Friday morning.



As soon as my first alarm went off I was awake and could not fall back asleep... it was like Christmas morning or something waiting for the anticipation.  Even though Friday (when I work) is my sleep in Friday I couldn't wait any longer and got up and took the test.  I was so so nervous... but took it and what do you know? It was invalid.  The control line never filled in... I guess it was a bad test or something...  Figures!!!



I decided that I would pick up another test on the way into work and I would take it when I had to pee next.  It was the Friday before President's Day and that Friday of the pay period is already really empty here, but with the impending holiday there was only 6 people in the building.  Once I knew I had to pee I went to the bathroom to take the test.  And this time it worked... almost immediately it said pregnant and I seriously couldn't believe my eyes.  I stared at that thing and kept looking at it and cried and stared some more.  I really didn't know what to think - I guess I always thought I knew how I would feel, but that's not the way I felt at all... I guess in that moment I was scared and thinking what in the world did I get myself into!



I didn't want to think too much of it until I confirmed it with another test.  After work (I got to leave an hour early) I went to Target and got some supplies to make Dan a Valentines gift (my tradition with him) and bought another fancier pregnancy test... you know the digital ones?   And luckily this package had two tests in it.



I headed home (I'd been waiting to go to the bathroom for this test) and took the test... and guess what happened?  The freaking test was invalid again... I'm not sure if this is a normal thing or not to have so many invalid tests, but let me tell you it was annoying!!  Maybe I did something wrong with it... who knows!



So I drank a cup of water and waiting until I had to go to the bathroom again.  I was going to confirm this thing today dang it!  Finally I did and the test worked (it has a little countdown thing on the test)... so I waited... and when I went back to check the test was PREGNANT.  I thought at this point I was confident that I was (well as confident as I would be until I see the doctor.)



I made my gift for Dan which was titled 'The 1-2-3's of Why I Love You' with the final page being that I love him because I know he's going to be a wonderful dad to our baby.



Dan was out late after work and brought home a pizza, I wanted to give him the gift that night, but he said that he wanted to wait until Valentine's, so we did.



I woke up Saturday morning and gave him the gift and didn't get much of a reaction out of him, I had to ask him if he read the last page and maybe I didn't write it clear because I finally just said I'm pregnant! And then I cried, why I'm not exactly sure, but I have a feeling there will be a lot of tears in the future.  I made an appointment on Monday and it's set for March 4th.  While I know there's probably something going on in there, I really want to confirm there's something in there before I tell many people... It's times like these I feel like a true Missourian where I need you to SHOW-ME that I am... so I'm remaining skeptically confident.



I feel bad in the mean time lying to people, mostly my dad who I went to hockey game with on the 20th and to tell him why I wasn't drinking.  I also feel that way with my mom who the Sunday after I found out was saying she wanted a grandchild (yet again... :)), but I'm hoping to get this confirmed and then we'll happily spread the news to our family and friends.



I've been feeling mostly good, just some bloating and cramping (not bad, just I know it's there).  I keep waiting for more symptoms to show up, like nausea, breast sensitivity, that sort of stuff... it might be there a little, but not really in full swing like I thought.  Most of the stuff I feel is at the end of the day.  I don't have a huge appetite.



I'm really excited to get to my doctor appointment and see if there's really something in there.  I keep telling the baby (who I've been calling Poppy because when I first found out I read that baby was the size of a poppy seed) that they can make me as sick as they want, all I want is for that baby to grow strong.



Just because I know so many people who have experienced miscarriages, that's been on my mind a lot, that it's a real possibility.  I start to think that if this baby gives me symptoms out the wha-zoo then it must be growing strong.  The appointment is still over a week away, but if it goes well I look forward to telling my family.  We did tell Dan's mom and step-dad last weekend, but warned them that it's still early.  They were really excited and it was really exciting telling them.  I had told Dan that we shouldn't say anything, but since I had already shared it with my friend Michelle (only picked her because she can't possibly tell anyone I know) so I felt like he really should be able to share when he wants. 



Hopefully all goes well next week and we can share with more people... I'm excited, scared, anxious, tired, moody (oh yeah, those two things I have been experiencing), happy, it just a new life experience I'm so excited to venture on.

A picture shortly after finding out I was pregnant