I have been having some female issues. My tests have been coming back abnormal. This issue has been going on for the last 3-4 years. My cervical cells have been showing dysplasia. I've had to have a procedure called a colposcopy. If you read that article there's some pretty scary stuff in there... namely the word cancer. When I got that first letter right before I broke my leg. I was a wreck. I cried and cried and though I may be dying (a little dramatic right?) I also felt kind of gross - like where was someone wrong in my body and I wasn't having and symptoms from it. That kind made me squirm. It seems weird that something could be wrong in your body and you have no idea. I've had that feels a lot especially with Chad's tumor situation.
What goes along with this colposcopy is typically a cervical biopsy - aka the bad part of all of this. If you're wondering what it feels like, it's kind of like an ear piercing inside of you. Fun stuff let me tell you.
After the first doctor's appointment she really believed that I was going to need to have surgery to fix this - most likely a laser procedure where they zap the bad cells. However, when they looked at my biopsies they found it was just inflammation so I didn't need to have surgery. Last year I was still testing positive for HPV however my pap test came back normal. S0 I had another one of these procedures with the same result.
Just yesterday I had to have yet another one of these. My pap test is still showing positive for HPV but this time the test also came back abnormal which my doctor thinks may mean it's getting worse. I'm not exactly sure what to hope for. These biopsies SUCK... they hurt, they are incredibly awkward, and I get all light headed. Seriously - I got all faint when she was simply talking about what the possible fix would be for this. I'm so crazy.
My doctor says that this (including the HPV) should all heal up on it's own. I guess I've been in this limbo. Not bad enough to treat but not good enough either. I'm in there every 6 months. It kind of sucks. So like I said, I'm not sure what I want to happen. Do I want it to be bad enough to fix? Or do I want to it to show that it's not bad enough? It really sounds like I should want it to clear up on its own (duh) but I'm worried it never will. I'll be having these things every year until forever. Is that even possible.
Sorry, I'm acting crazy. I've been taking it easy the rest of the day. I just feel all weird and gross. I won't go into the details of the aftermath of one of these procedures but just know it isn't the most fun. It's not the worse possible thing but it's still not fun. Grumble... that's my medical issue I've been going through.
I know this all personal information about me and it might be weird that I'm sharing it on a such a public forum, but honestly I very open with people. I don't like to keep many things to myself. After talking to lots of people, this is has happened to a lot of girls. I am not the only one with this issue, it's pretty common. A lot of women get HPV and have to have this procedure. While I've talked negatively, I'm happy that I have a doctor that wants to monitor it so closely. I am happy that even though it scares me to have this done and I get all pale and faint I make myself go. It's important to do what I can not to, god forbid, get cancer. So if anyone has any questions, please let me know and I'll address them.
In the end, I am fine, I will be fine... so don't worry about it. There are bigger fish to fry.
I will say this - it has not been the best medical year thus far. I keep talking to people and everyone seems to have something medical going wrong with them. So I hope that's just January of 2011 and not the entire year. We all need to feel good!! Carpe Diem!!
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