Just wanted to share some random thoughts.
- I had a pretty good weekend. Mostly, low key, but good. Friday night we had an impromptu happy hour with my dad's family, which is always fun. Saturday I finished shopping for my mom (only dad and purchasing a gift certificate, which I'm going to do today to go). That night I attended an ugly Christmas sweater party. I'm really happy that my step-sister, Rachel agreed to go with me. I had a couple of friends say they would, but ended up bailing, so I'm happy she could attend with me. She know some of those girls, so I think she enjoyed it too. Sunday I worked on homework and then watched the Survivor finale with my mom while wrapping gifts. I still have a few to go, since they were for my mom, and obviously can't do that while she's sitting next to me!
- Mental Health wise I've been doing really good. I think it's a combination of several different things - blogging some honest feelings last week, going to a counseling appointment, figuring out how this divorce will be funded, just knowing that I'm not the only one hurting because of this, and generally just starting to get into the Christmas spirit. I need to remind myself that this whole process is a spiral. Just because I'm doing good today doesn't mean I'll be good forever. I will experience times of pain, upset-ness, anger, sadness, etc. Just because I am any of those negative things doesn't mean I'm moving backward. It's good to remind myself of that. It's okay what I'm thinking - what I'm feeling isn't wrong. It's natural and expected.
- Speaking of that, I actually want to say something nice about him. Yesterday I was having issues with my computer. None of my Microsoft Office programs would open and I would get a weird error message. Not sure what to do, I texted him. I knew that he didn't have to respond - or help me... but he did and I couldn't be more appreciative. He helped me fix the problem relatively quickly (he is good with computers!) I felt good knowing it was a Microsoft update that messed things up and nothing I did. I'm really really thankful that he helped me. It meant a lot to me. We chatted a bit too, and I didn't feel sad after the conversation, but more ok with things somehow. I think sometimes you get into your head and make things up. The counselor calls this distorted thinking patterns. He is hurting too... this isn't easy for either of us, and when I'm feeling sad it's hard not to think that he can't be possibly hurting like I am. This is one of the things that does make me feel better. It just sucks all around.
- I am suppose to be moving buildings at work... it's a bit of a cluster. It feels like someone should give everyone guidance on how to do things - but that just hasn't happened. In the end, it will probably be me moving myself, which just seems weird. I thought I would do it today, but I think I might wait a bit.
- I think I have New Years Eve figured out, which is nice... thanks to my good friend Liz!
- I am really looking forward to the Christmas festivities. I love this time of year and I really want to enjoy it. It's beginning to feel more like Christmas every day, and I'm excited. I think I've mentioned before, but I LOVE wrapping gifts, so I'm looking forward to wrapping the few more that I have tonight. Also on the agenda this week - hanging out with Rachel tomorrow and seeing the Nutcracker at the Touhill on Wednesday... I've been wanting to go to the Nutcracker for ages and I'm super excited to finally seeing it!!
I think that may be all for now!!
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