Monday Rant

I really needed a place that I could just let it out... bitch and moan a little... just say what's on my mind and not feel stupid or redundant for doing so... I was thinking to myself... who could I do that to?? And then it dawned on me... I have a blog to do those kinds of things... duh!!

Well... here's my rant... At work I get to travel and help facilitate conferences. Typically (in years past, I've heard) that a real life PSA takes you on your first couple of conferences in order for you to figure out the ins and outs of being at a conference. Well this year they are trying to keep spending down and travelling hasn't been as big a part of the job as it has been in years past.

I really feel like I'm missing out on this important piece. My supervisor wants me to come to this conference I've been working on for my orientation, which is great b/c I've been working on this project all along so it will be nice to see it from start to finish. The problem is there is no actual PSA going on the conference... there is a contract PSA which is completely different... There are a lot of things that a contract PSA doesn't understand... for instance what needs to be done at the conference in order to make the after conference wrap-up a smoother process.

My supervisor thinks that this is a wonderful idea, that taking me on this conference will get me all the training I need... but I don't think it will... she's training me on a job she doesn't even do... I just feel like I'm losing out on something important... something that may come around and bite me in the ass at some point... I feel like I have to learn the job of being on-site from people telling me about it here instead of there... on-site... when it would matter... I feel like the way I'm going to have to learn some stuff is by messing up and then knowing better for next time. Plus I know I'm not going to feel as comfortable asking questions and getting the answer I want/need.

I was okay with this plan to go to Denver without a real PSA b/c I was under the impression that I was going to go to another conference in July with possibly 2 real PSAs. This is a huge conference and I was really excited to see what it was all about and really get some training that I wanted and needed.

Well today I found out I don't get to go... that it "doesn't make sense for me to go" and frankly I'm really becoming pissed off about it. My supervisor does. not. get. it. She thinks that she's right and I feel like I'm missing out on something important. I don't really have the authority yet to say I think I should be able to go and here's why... b/c in her head I'll get everything I need out of the June trip. I think this would have been a GREAT chance... and she squashed that hope.

I just needed to rant about it... I already did a little but really I wanted more time to say what I felt... I just really wanted to go and I'm missing out... like seriously... for real... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr