Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sometimes

Sometimes I get exhausted talking at length about this situation.

Sometimes I get sick of agreeing with people that it really will be ok, and I'll be a stronger person b/c of this

Sometimes I'm tired of acting fine just so I don't make you more sad

Sometimes I want to talk about what's going on, but when I'm done I'm done

Sometimes I don't want to hear how you think he's a horrible person and really I'm better off

Sometimes I just want to talk about normal things

Sometimes I know when you ask 'how are you doing' your just asking about how I'm feeling about the situation today

Sometimes I'm completely fine, and not thinking about it at all

Sometimes the stupidest things are bugging me for no real good reason

Sometimes I don't want to talk

Sometimes I want nothing more than to talk

Sometimes I don't want to hear about your kid or your grandkid b/c it makes me really sad that I'm no where near that experience yet

Sometimes what made me feel ok yesterday just makes me feel worse the next day

Sometimes I want to be left alone

Sometimes I'm just waitinghopingpraying you'll talk to me

All of this to say - it can be dang confusing in my head... sometimes

2 comments:

Susan said...

This is a super difficult and confusing time and I hope you know that everyone is just trying to show you support and love right now. No one knows the exact "right" thing to say at any moment. I hope you can find peace and happiness within yourself. I am here to talk or not to talk. Love you!

dsdddwddgdd said...

very poignant indeed! this is,hopefully, one of the toughest struggles you will face in your life. its hard; its okay; its rotten; there's hope. no rules and no one knows the right thing to say/do. it will get better. as susan noted--i'm here to talk or not to talk........i just might sometimes need a clue as to which (smile). hug with love......mom