Blah

I'm hoping that writing will help. I've been feeling anxious all week for a bunch of random stupid things, but tonight I'm really thinking about one of them. I have finally made the decision to move forward with grad school. I know that I need to get a masters to really get ahead at work and honestly I'm really excited about the degree program and the classes. What also helps is Chad is working a new schedule and I have some alone time that I really could be productive instead of milling around the house watching America's Next Top Model marathons.

I've decided that going through University of Phoenix would really work for me. They do not require me taking the GRE and my GPA is acceptable (which sadly is a concern for me.) The program is also completely online which works well since traveling is part of my job. I had talked to them back in December and decided that it really wasn't the right time. I am very excited to start and sadly right now the program isn't available in Missouri. The basicness of it is every state must 'sign off' on the programs saying they meet the regulation and blah blah blah. There is no ETA for when it will be available again.

I am really disappointed. There are probably other schools that would work... but I feel at a stand-still. I'm really not sure where to look and the other programs that I've look at (very briefly I will say) look scary for lack of a better word. I know I need to do more research but as with some things I feel very overwhelmed about it right now. It's just really been bothering me. It's been on my mind. I keep kicking myself for not starting the program earlier when it was offered instead of now. I'm mad at myself... and sometime I have a hard time letting go... not beating myself up about it. So any ideas? I know UMSL has a program that I plan on looking into more tomorrow... I need to call the University of Phoenix person back. He said it could be weeks or months...

I just don't know. Blah... work has also been pretty annoying lately. I don't want it to sound like I'm sad and pathetic but these last few weeks have just gotten to me more than ever and this education thing doesn't help. I just need to burn off some nerves, and I haven't gotten very good at knowing how to do that. I think I'm going to force myself to paint tonight... maybe that will also help to focus myself on a project. Yeah, maybe a project in general will be a good idea.

Maybe it will all work itself out... I guess let's hope for that...