Reflection: Two Years

At the end of August it will be two years since the separation with Chad.  (and two years on October 1st since I moved out and haven't seen him since except back in July)  I'm not exactly sure what I want to say... but mostly just wanted to mark the moment.

Mostly it feels like so much longer than two years.  I remember things about being together, but it seems like a much more distant memory than just two years ago.

It feels like I've lived a lifetime since then.  I've done so many things.  So many fun activities and trips and family time and friend time and just life in general.  There's so much I have done that I would never, could never do when I was married to Chad.

I feel like I've done a good job moving forward... and I'm very happy with where my life is headed.  I don't want to call the marriage a mistake, but I've learned a lot from it and hindsight is always 20/20 ya know?

I haven't really talked much about moving forward from this divorce since I moved onto my next relationship.  When I was first going through the divorce process I thought for sure I would have a party to celebrate being divorce... single again... but it never felt right.  It didn't feel right to post it on Facebook.  Mostly I've just gone with when it feels right is the right time to do stuff.  And that's worked very well.

Last year during the month of November when I wrote one thing I was thankful for a day I wrote an entry about how I was thankful for my divorce.  The short, simpleness of that post really is still true.

In the end I have lived so much more since the divorce... I appreciate things more and I just understand relationships and life more than I did.  It's like don't sweat the small stuff or something.

I know that I'm not making a whole lot of sense and this post is really rambly and all over the place... but I guess I just wanted to mark the occasion and really say that I'm proud of where I was and where I am now.  I never really want to read about how sad I was in those first days (you can go back and read, but honestly I don't want to look at those posts) but I've come a long way from being soooo sad to being very happy and in a really good spot.  It really just takes time to move forward.  Waiting sucks, but it's worth it in the end.

That would be my advice to people going through something like I did.  It gets better.  Just wait it out and know that life is much better on the other side.

Reflection: Living with Four Cats

The short: Four cats is TOO MANY.

The long:

When I moved back home I took my two cats - Pretty Kitty and Stitch - with me.  It was very nice of my mom to let the cats come too.  Since she already had two of them (and dislikes having them)

Pretty is in the background and Stitch in the front

They joined my mom's two cats - Cocoa (the mean one) and Snickers (the fat one)

I wasn't sure what to expect, but I did think that Snickers wouldn't really care and Cocoa would be mean and grumpy.  I think I was about half right, b/c Cocoa was still mean and grumpy, but Snickers did care that they were there.

She pretty much antagonized Pretty from the get go.  You see, my cats are fairly small.  Stitch is about 8.5 pounds and Pretty is about 8 pounds.

 

While Cocoa is probably more along the lines of 12 pounds (total guess) and Snickers is a wopping 18-20 pounds.

 

Snickers on the left and Cocoa on the right

 

Snickers just picked on the cats from the beginning - especially Pretty (she is the more social cat).  Sounds came from Pretty that I have never heard before.  Snickers would chase Pretty around the house and there would be these horrible hissy/growly/moany sounds.  Real fun to hear in the middle of the night...

Things got better over time and they weren't as hissy, but I really think that Snickers is going to miss having these two cats to chase around.

 

 

 

I learned something about the cats while having all four of them in the house together.  Pretty and Snickers are a lot alike.  They like to be around people and will follow us around or dart into the bathroom if they know that's where we are headed.

 

 

And Stitch and Cocoa are a lot alike.  They stay more away from people (although Stitch like people and Cocoa just hisses and growls).  They keep more to themselves and enjoy the same spots always.

Cocoa really didn't come around to the cats... but no one really expected her to.  She's grumpy.  She did finally warm up to me - but it took several months of trying before that happened.

 

 

I know my mom is happy to go back to the two cats b/c well... four cats is just too many.  They make bigger messes (throw up all the time... although I really think this is a Snickers problem since she gobbles up food faster than her stomach can take it evidenced by the mostly undigested food... but I know that ALL cats puke).  You don't really know which cat is causing the problem (poop on the floor... who did it... my guess - Cocoa just b/c we've caught her in the act before... oh and she peed on Lindsey... that's a new one)

 

 

My cats mostly stayed in my room.  Stitch especially.  Cats are so funny they do this thing where the "follow" you except they are in front of you.  They try to anticipate your next move.  Like if I'm headed down the hallway and think I'm head for the bathroom they will dart in there, only to realize I'm actually headed to my room so quickly come in there.

 

Cats are great pets... despite what people may think.  They are fun, social, entertaining, cuddly, loveable and just enjoyable to own.  I hope that the move goes well with them and we get the basement set up in a way that makes sense.  I am still working that out.

So in conclusion - cats are great, don't have four!

Reflections: Living at Home

I thought a few reflection entries might be nice since there's a couple of things coming to an end as well as a big milestone for me.

I have been living at home for about two years. I moved home shortly after I got separated back in October of 2011. When I moved back home I wasn't really sure how long I would be staying. I think I planned to be out in a year, but obviously it was longer!

Some people would probably hate to have to move back home. And while there was some adjustments, living at home with my mom and sister (and brother for most of it too) was really amazing.

I am lucky to have a pretty great family. I like being around them and they support me when I needed it. I know that not everyone has this luxury and it's not one I take for granted. When I first moved back home it's exactly what I needed. To be in a house with other people who made an effort to spend time with me and talk to me. I really think being around them helped me get through the roughest parts of the divorce.

I am also blessed that I got to reconnect with all of my family. It was such a precious time in my life. Not many people get the option of living with their family when they are older and wiser and I was. This really helped me bond with my little sister. We have a great relationship now and I'm so happy I was able to spend time getting to know her better.

I am so thankful to have a mom that let me move back home like I did and while I did pay her some rent, it was minimal which gave me the ability to pay off my credit cards, car, and save money for the house I'm buying. She also let my cats live there (whole other post on that) which I really appreciate as well.

Overall I know that living at home isn't an option for everyone, but I'm really happy it was for me. It was a great two years of my life. I'm really going to miss coming home to my mom and sister and the random things that go on in the house... but I'm nearing 30 and it's time to spread my wings and fly!